Friday, December 18, 2009

The highest and most beautiful things in life are not to be heard about, nor read about, nor seen but, if one will, are to be lived. ~Soren Kierkegaar




When I read this, it's almost as if the words jumped off of the page and slapped me in the face, or as if they were written just for me.

We can't just hear about the most beautiful things, or read them, or see them, because were meant to live them.

Figuring out that life is the beautiful thing. The friendships,the laughter, and passion for every person and relationship within that life, is what makes it beautiful.

Within the last year of my life, I have learned how to live. I've learned how beautiful my life is and realized, and become able to vocalize, that I'm in love with it. I've learned how connected I can be with my creator and the people around me, and how important that is to me. I have learned that the most beautiful things in my life are the things that I'm living, everyday, the conversations that I'm having, the hands that I'm holding, the smiles that I'm giving. And not only all of those things that I am giving, but also the things that I am receiving because of that release, or that giving.

Throughout my upper teen years I asked myself, often; What was I created to do? and now I know that there is only one phrase that can completely define it, and that is to just "live the beauty." Live the beauty that God has created my life to be. Accept it. Believe in it. And know that it's beautiful.

"Live the Beauty"

~Living the beauty means to embrace every moment of life with a current running through your soul that makes you know that that moment is meant to be there.
~Living the beauty means to embrace every relationship within your life and know that there is purpose within it.
~Living the beauty means to know who you are, that you're valued, and that no event, disappointment, hurt, or pain, can truly alter the essence of that value, or that beauty.
~Living the beauty is a choice to look at the world, and know that it wouldn't be the same without you in it, and that because of that realization, you can do what God purposed you to do.



I have no Idea where this came from, or why I wrote any of it, but that current tells me that I'll use it for something.

The End.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

My favorite Christmas Hymn


O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!



Why?
Because I can feel Jesus when I listen to it.

My favorite line is "Truly He taught us to love one another"
It makes it all so real to me, to think that God created the truest representation of love, wrapped it in human form, and sent it to earth as a baby boy. The birth of Christ was God's gift of true, pure, love, and I beleive was God's way of setting the biggest example he could have ever set. Surely he has taught us to love one another.

Christmas should be a celebration of that love for this world.

I enjoy Christmas. I love the way it makes me feel, but I sometimes fail to realize that this gift is meant to be celebrated all year long, and the best way I can celebrate it, is by loving every person that walks into my life with that same love that Mary birthed into this world.

So why does Christmas make us feel this way? because it represents LOVE in it's purest form.

Just my theory :)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

“Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.”



I close my eyes and in the silence
Hear a voice so clear
Reminding me your love
Is always right here

Within me-then all of my doubts disappear
And there's nothing to fear- your love is
Within me
You gave me strength to believe
That all that I am and all that I'll ever need is
Within me

When my spirit's all but broken
I'm humbled to the bone
Searching for the grace
To find my way home

I take a breath, a slow deep breath
And feel a sense of calm
Then the hurt in my heart is suddenly gone

Within me you wiped away all my tears
There's nothing to fear- your love's within me
It gives me the strength to believe
That all that I am and all that I'll ever need is
Within me

Songwriters: Martillano, Rose; Sillas, Phillip H; Rich, Allan


I find strength in lyrics. I find peace in music, and it is most definitely my lifelong security blanket.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The times that he's the closest

The times that I can feel my grandfather the closest are in my times of pure worship, and this makes perfect sense because my grandfather was a worshiper, in spirit and in truth.

His whole life was a reflection of God's beauty and he could find moments of worship hidden amongst all sorts of times. I can remember many times riding somewhere with him and listening to him pray and feel the very presence of God fill the car that we were riding in. I have never been able to explain it, and I've stopped trying, but there was something about that man's worship that ushered the very presence of God into a room, or a car, or on vacation,or at a band concert or at graduation.......just about anywhere.

One of my most vivid and cherished last moments of him, are ones of worship.

As he lay in that hospital bed in their living room he had become pretty non responsive to anything that was going on around him, but we still talked to him and sang to him. We played his Gaither Vocal Band tapes for him, because he loved it. The night before he died we played one for him and he began to sing along with it, only for a moment, and not in tune, but that moment was one that I will never, ever, forget.

This man, cancer has destroyed his earthly body and he has every reason to be angry, to be sad, to hurt, but all he can do is worship.

Through his last moments of life, he worshiped, because he understood that what he had lived his whole life for, was about to occur. He was about to meet his purest love, and he was ready.


I am sad, and I do hurt, but deep, way deep down inside, I know that he hears, he sees, and I can feel his spirit so strong in those moments of worship, and I thank God for this comfort that he has given me. I praise my creator for giving me strength.


These lyrics grab me:
Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers
"Don't cry for me, I'll see you all someday"
He looks up and says
"I can see God's face"

This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know
This was my temporary home

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The voice that's missing

I miss my grandfather so much.

I wish I could tell him about all of the wonderful things that are happening in my life and how what he always told me, "you can do it gal," is really the truth.

I wish I could see his proud face, just for a moment, and hear his calming voice speaking words of life into the world.

I wish I could hear him say the prayer over our food at Thanksgiving, but most of all I wish I could just talk to him.

I just need five minutes to tell him about what is going on around here and to ask him a couple of these "life decision" questions.

Friday, at 6:50 am, marks three years that I have spent without this voice in my life, and while I know that he is no longer suffering, or battling, I'm still sad and it still hurts.

Why does it feel like I'm always forgetting to hug someone, or call someone? Why does it always feel like someone has left me out on my birthday? Why at the moment that I feel the most successful, do I realize that one of the most important people, I can't tell, I can't see smile. Why does it always feel like someone is missing?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Love Applied

God's voice has become so evident in my life recently. I can hear him in the tiniest of things and feel his presence in the darkest of situations. I don't think that voice ever went anywhere, it's right here inside of me, but I do think my sense of hearing has been a little off.

I love how at the moment that I feel the absolute weakest, I feel the very hand of God upon my shoulder.
"When I feel like I can't go on, you deliver me"

I love how no matter what the question is in my life, I can answer it with the love of God.

I love how there are so many amazing people in my life that are major reminders of God's divine power.

I love waking up everyday knowing that I have a purpose, and that purpose is to love every single person in my life- to show them the love that God has for them.

I think our generation, our culture, is crying out to be shown, SHOWN the love of Christ. I think people are tired of empty words, of being told bible stories by people that have no conviction about what they're saying. People are thirsting for genuine. They want to know that what we have tapped into is real and that we apply it in our lives- that it's truly our conviction.
Our witness is the very love of God emanating from our presence, our mouths don't do it justice.

I love my God.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

"The Great Kapok Tree"

I read this book to my students for the first time yesterday and I knew that they were ready for it and would give me some good thoughts, but one student really surprised me.

"Senhor, when you awake, please look upon us all with new eyes"

My question: "Does that mean that the boy wanted the man to literally get new eyeballs to look at things?"

Very shy little girl: "No. It means that he wants him to see the world differently, through the eyes of beauty and love."

I was floored, and she said it so well. I'm pretty sure that I stood there with my mouth hanging open for at least 20 seconds. My host teacher and I locked eyes at about the same time and I could see that she was just as pleased as I was. :)

I am learning so much from these people that only have 7 or 8 years of experience with life.

My God, if we could all look at things through the eyes of "beauty and love," the way that I truly believe children do, there is no telling what mountains humans could move.

Anything, but ordinary :)

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Peace Transcends


Yesterday my peace was robbed by fear, and while it took me most of the night and a long conversation with my creator to gain a portion of it back, I did.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

I don't know what I'd do without this love.......I don't know where I'd be. Some call it a crutch, I call it an everlasting relationship with the power that formed me.

My grandmother is sick, but time has always been precious and if she slipped from this moment right now, I can say with all assurance that I have been blessed by the life that she's lived, there is no memory left unmade and no words left unsaid. She's loved me with all of her heart, and it's in a lot of ways shaped the person I am becoming.

And as soon as I realize that I'm not in control, and that it's nothing I've done or will do that will change any of this, that's when my faith takes over in a mighty way, that's when the peace transcends.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The realm of the answer

I'm reading a book that really has me thinking, A Return To Love, by Marianne Williamson.

"Next time you're down on your knees, why don't you just stay there? Why don't we stay in the realm of the answer rather than returning to the realm of the problem?"

This struck a nerve.

Surrendering my unbelief is hard sometimes. Allowing those parts of myself that think they know a better way of doing it, to take over, is a hard thing to suppress. Realizing that the answer is inside of me, and not outside.......that's a hard one too. '

And when I return to the realm of the answer, I find the purest love I've ever known.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Beautiful


When I step back and I look at how all the pieces fit, I can't help but think that this painting will turn out something like Vincent van Gogh's "Starry Night."

Beautiful. That's what my painter is. He is beauty. He possesses some of the very qualities that he placed inside of me, and all of his children.

Just as an artist paints and places some of their beauty onto the canvas, and just as a musician hammers out melody, placing some of their beauty into the world, my creator is making me to reflect some of his beauty.

The closer I come to accepting this, the easier it is to love, to breathe, to take in everything around me, and to know that it is with divine purpose that I am who I am.

My entire course of life events has shaped this person, this painting, and the greatest thing is knowing who holds the paint brush. The one that makes no mistakes. The one who mixes all of the colors perfectly and knows exactly what he's doing. He knows where to draw all of the lines. He knows where everything belongs.

While sometimes I feel like he must have dropped the paintbrush, it's in those moments that he is looking at his work. It's in those moments that he's deciding what the next phase will be. And those moments are moments of beauty, too.

It's a tedious process and I'm glad that he's willing to stick with it.
I'm glad that even when I get sidetracked and the paint begins to run, that he knows exactly how to turn my mess into what was supposed to be there anyway.

Family, friends, events, places, good times, bad times, and in between times are all a part of the artwork. They're focal points. They're meant to be there.

I'm only 21 years old and I don't have a lot of insight into what the rest of my life will be like, but I do know that If I allow my maker, this painting is going to be something of exceptional beauty, reflecting everything that he has put into it.

I was reminded of this today, heavily reminded.

I can only imagine what heaven's art gallery looks like :)

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Babies


A friend and I began a conversation today about having children, and once again I felt my heart almost explode when I started talking about these possibilities that are in my future.
I don't know what it has been about my 20's, but it seems like I think about it a lot more and want it a lot more. I think about carrying a child and what that is going to be like. I think about the kind of love that I will feel when it happens and I don't suspect that it's anything close to what I've ever felt before.

There is something about the way a baby looks up at its mother that makes everything inside of me know that I want that.
I can't imagine what it will be like to look into the eyes of someone that needs me that much.

These thoughts may be a little premature. I still have a piece to go before I get to that point in my life, but I honestly can't wait. (I can wait, I'm just excited)

All I can do right now is hope for a niece or nephew in the near future. :)

Friday, October 16, 2009

Experience


Many things have happened around me today, but the thing I want to talk about is...............................
I read A Chair For My Mother by Vera B. Williams today and several of my students really seemed to connect with this text. A few of them shared their own personal stories of their homes catching on fire. One student in particular really touched me with how she related herself to the text by sharing with the class that she knew what it was like to lose all of her furniture, and clothes, and proceeded into telling of how her dog was in the house and the fireman couldn't save him.

My response to this was one of which I had to spit out rapid fire and didn't really consider very deeply. I said " So you can identify with the way the little girl in the story feels, because you have had a very similar experience and how does that make you feel for her?" and the student responded with sad.

Another student raised their hand and said "So my house has never caught on fire, so I can't know what she feels like, right?" and this led into a beautiful discussion about caring and being compassionate and sympathetic. The kids came up with the "care" and the "be sad for" on their own and then we talked about other words that meant the same thing. They began to put together the fact that you don't have to have the identical experience, to show sympathy and show compassion for someone who has.

They taught each other more about life in that 20 minutes than I ever could have. When I chose that book, last minute this morning, to help guide instruction I never imagined that they would do what they did with it. I am so glad that they did, because I feel like they were teaching me, instead of me teaching them.

Monday, October 12, 2009

A Day in My PJ's


I have not left my pajamas today, the rain made it that much more irresistible. These days are few and far between and that's OK because vegging is not very self satisfying, at least if I did it everyday it wouldn't be. But today was nice. I watched the rain. I made significant progress in planning my unit and, the nap that I squeezed in was not bad either. I cooked dinner (oooo-Ahhhhh)
and my roommate and I watched my "Live on the Inside" DVD (Sugarland), that came with the CD that I have not had the opportunity to watch until today. I had the concert experience right here in my living room. I loved it. I'll watch it again, that's how good it was. :)

Nothing too special about the day, but I did some well deserved relaxing and took some time to do a few things that I wanted to do and a few things that I needed to do.

Did some singing too, of course!

Tomorrow brings a little more productivity and hopefully the sun will shine.


Therefore I will give thanks to You, O LORD, among the nations, and I will sing praises to Your name ... 2 Sam 22:50.

THE END

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Questions and Answers


So,
Someone asked me the question today: What would you be if you weren't a teacher? and I honestly had no answer to that question.

There have been times in the last few years that I might have had an answer for that question, but I don't anymore, and for whatever reason, I'm OK with that.

I am becoming more and more comfortable with the power that I posses as an educator and I love the feeling of knowing that I am going to be doing something that I love for the rest of my life.

Today,I met some other people that are passionate about what they are doing everyday, and it seemed like God put them in my path to prove to me that the passion that I feel, will still exist even when I am in the, "real world"

Can I see flaws in our education system? of course I can see flaws, but I can also see opportunity. I can see my chance to make a difference and I know that I can impact the lives that come through my classroom door.

I heard someone say today
She said, we often ask ourselves and wonder, will all of what I do for these children be in vain when they move out of my classroom and into the more, sit in your desk, copy from the board, let's read our books one, down the hallway. She said the answer is no. When you give children opportunities and experiences, they draw from it for the rest of their lives and they'll always remember. PROFOUND!
:)(made my day)

This is why I continue on even though I can see the flaws, and, this is why I no longer have an answer to the question "What would you be if you weren't a teacher"
I HAVE NO BACK UP PLAN.

I am a teacher
I have a powerful role in this world.
My soul can reach into the lives of children, everyday.
My hands can hold their hands. My voice can reach their hearts.
My smile can let them know that they are where it starts.
They posses the ability to become whatever they want to be.....No limits...No boundaries.....just opportunity. And as long as they hold onto that experience for the rest of their lives, my job is done, and I am in turn, fulfilled.

So, yeah, I am a teacher.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Inhabiting My Days


I want to inhabit all of my days.....not just exist. I want each day to open me more,
just like a flower. I want to bloom.

I strongly beleive that being an inhabitant of each one of my days and realizing the worth of that day and that process, makes LIFE worth living and makes me a SUCCESS.

And what is life?

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
Mother Teresa


What is Success?.........heard this today. "Success is running out of the door every morning ready to live that day......success is love."

JUST THINKING............................................

My life right now?
My life is what it should be.
I'm where I should be
with who I should be with
doing what I should be doing
Trying not to hurry
Trying not to worry
Loving
Growing
Living
Inhabiting

:)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Growing Pains

School is a little crazy right now........I've yet to grasp what my unit will be about for my full time teaching, and I'm beginning to become a little concerned...............

I know my students well, and I know what I would like to do, but I feel resistance and I don't like it.

An important individual within this process put it to me pretty straight today, stung a little, but she told me to "get a backbone"........which I already have, but decided a little earlier in the school year that it might be OK to hide a little, as to not feel that resistance......

I don't like resistance, but I'm trying to think about what is best for those kids and I've now come to the conclusion that they aren't getting all that they need and that I have a prime opportunity to change that.

I can see so many things that could be happening, that aren't, and I've decided to take on that resistance for them.

Maybe, when this is all said and done, I will have left some type of impression upon those children, that school is fun, and that "Ms.Kitchens," truly cared about what they were interested in, and not just their scores on a test.

It's easy to go with the flow, but sometimes, you gotta go against the current..............and just maybe, the water will start flowing the other way or some of the fish will swim with you, making the water easier to tread.


In other avenues, my grandmother appears to be getting sicker and I'm not so sure it's as much physical at this point, as it is emotional.
Almost all of her hair has fallen out now, and she is very embarrassed of it. She doesn't talk as much as she use to and you can just look at her face and see, that her sparkle is dying.She says things like, "if I make it until then." I pray everyday, that God ease her pain and help her to stay on top of this, emotionally and physically. That is all I can do. I am helpless, otherwise. This hurt runs deep and I'm trying with everything that God has placed inside of me to stay strong, but it's hard.........It's hard to see her like this and it's hard to find time. It's hard not to dwell on it and it's hard to focus on what I HAVE TO DO.

I need to uncover my strength, and I need to lean on those people in my life that are my sources.

"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge" Psalms 62:8

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Changed


One year ago I was..................
Scared......that I didn't fit.
Worried...... that I couldn't do it.
Hiding............within myself.
All of my feelings and thoughts, I only shared them with a select few. Was I ok? Yeah. I was great, but now I'm even better.

I'm not afraid to tell you how I feel anymore, because you've listened. I don't worry about fitting anymore, because it's overrated. I know I can do it, because I just can. I won't hide anymore, because there's no reason to.

Last August a process began in my life that has changed me forever, I started my teaching cohort. All of these things above described me, exactly.

As I began to dive into what being a teacher really means, I uncovered things about myself that I have never known. I took hold of my soul purpose, which is to teach. To teach with actions, with words, with questions,with convictions, but most of all, with my heart. It has spilled into every facet of my life. I am different. I have grown, and I am glad.

Granted, there is still so far to go, but I'm learning that reflecting on my growth, gives me just as much satisfaction as it does my students when they can see their progress.

Another example of "spilling over," is the fact that I can see more clearly who I am. I am a minister, I know that. I've heard God's voice blaring through many of the people and things around me. Do I stand in front of a congregation and speak? No. Will I ever? Not completely sure, but I do know that I have to minister to the people within my life.

What does that mean, to minister to them?
It may just mean listening. It may mean praying with them, or for them. It may mean just sitting there in the silence, comforting them by just breathing. It may mean encouraging them, or holding thier hand. It might mean a hug, or a smile. It could quite possibly mean crying with them or laughing with them. It might just be the words, "you will get through this," or "you do have the power."

Hmmmm.....sounds like we all do it, everyday.

I am so thankful for the people within my life that are pushing, listening, caring for, praying for, and in essence, ministering to me. WE FEED OFF OF EACH OTHER!

Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark in one another. - Kenny Ausubel


Seems kind of ironic that 2nd grade is all about change!
That's the grade I'm student teaching in :)

Monday, September 7, 2009

"The Potter Knows the Clay"




Today was a wonderful day. Nothing particularly extravagant about it, just got to spend some quality time with the people that I love.

Since I've moved from home I've made it a strict point to visit with my parents on a weekly basis. We talk, laugh, and just love on each other for a little while. I have to make sure they know how much I'll always love them and keep reinforcing the fact that I never moved out to move away, just to have some ownership of some things and I think they're beginning to understand. I think our relationship has become stronger now, than it was when I lived at home.........it's because there is no longer a power struggle. I can handle it, and now they know that.

I needed to fly, and I have, but I also never forget that they're there, that they love me, and that they are growing, just like me.

We visited with my grandma for a while this afternoon and I think it lifted her spirits just knowing we were there. We talked politics for a while.......of course she stated her opinion, and I stated mine, and before I left she asked me if I would be participating in some type of free radical convention that I had never even heard of. LOL. all because I think people are freaking about president Obama's speech to the nations youth, with no just cause. Had nothing to do with my political views. I assured her that I wouldn't be attending any type of free radical convention and she was relieved :)

I love my family with all of my heart. The connection can never be broken. Death can't break it. Sickness can't break it. Miles can't break it.Differences of opinions can't break it. Nothing can break it.

We are tied by not only the blood that runs through our veins, but by the blood that was shed for us by the perfect sacrifice.

I had a meeting with Jesus last night. I felt Christ wrapping his love around me, the same way that he did when I was eight years old and prayed the sinners prayer. I don't know what it was about that moment,maybe that it was just me and him, but it assured me that everything that's anything, is because of him. It assured me that his love for me is real, it's relevant, and that it will continue to see me through every moment of my life. I've realized that I can't run from my heritage and I can't hide behind anyone, but my creator. I'm in love. I'm in love with the person that formed me with his hands and "The potter Knows The Clay"

he knows how much pressure I can take
He knows how many times to spin me around the wheel
He's planned a beautiful design, but it'll take some fire and time
because the potter knows the clay.

(A wonderful mentor and inspiration of mine wrote an amazing song "The potter knows the Clay" and I can't help but feel that it's message is for me and in the moments that I have no idea what is going on, I remember the message of this song and I can continue on knowing that God knows what he's doing")


I am blessed!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

How do you hear from God?


I sat out on my balcony for a few moments this afternoon just trying to unwind from my day, had a nice glass of sweet tea and decided to not think about school during that time..................

It was another one of those "quiet moments" I left everything inside, intentionally and it was just me, the chair, and God.

I talked a few minutes. I thanked God for my blessings, I asked for a few things, but mostly, I just sat there surrounded by the peace that I knew would be interrupted at any moment.....................

Before I knew it I was very deep into thinking about my grandmother that is battling breast cancer and once again, throwing out the why........

At the very moment that I began to cry, I was reminded of a few days before, Sunday, when I had sat out there as a storm blew in. I knew that this was significant and I knew what God was doing.

I was being reminded that the storm blows in, and blows out. It may leave some things changed, it may leave some things the same, but the point is, it never lasts forever. I also felt significance in the fact that I knew that a few hundred miles down the road, it was not even raining, the sun was probably shining.

This is my life right now........In this one area, it's storming, but in the other areas the sun is shining, so I have nothing to complain about. I can't sulk in it and I can't place blame. I have to take it for what it is, and that is, a storm, blowing in and then back out.

I am blessed and I am loved. And I feel that love with every breath that I breathe................It is relationship. My creator is my best friend and there are some that say, "How do you hear from God" and I say "How do you not hear from God?" We're surrounded by it.

I have to open my heart because my ears are not sufficient for this one.

:)

Monday, August 31, 2009

HAVE TO GET THIS ONE OUT THERE!


Good gosh! I sat down to try to get started on some things for school and I can't even think for being so excited about my day!

I got the call at about 6:30 this morning, from Mrs.Stanley, that her kids were sick and that she needed to take them to the doctor.......she ran through a few quick things about what needed to happen and then I, of course assured her that everything would be fine.........at that moment I was like, WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO WITH THESE KIDS? I talked myself through it and decided that I could do it, so I did.........I remembered what my mama tells me. She says "Michelle you were created and designed to do it, so just do it."

SO, I just did it. I knew that the kids needed to read "Henry and Mudge" so we had a really good time reading the story and then we incorporated what they had been learning in Math and created a huge venn diagram to compare and contrast characters! I loved hearing some of the things that they picked out......"Henry has 2 legs and Mudge has 4" "Henry sets up camp but Mudge chewed on a log"

I decided to turn the "boring Vocab routine" into a rhythm exercise........needless to say a couple of the words and definitions were less rhythmic than others, but hey, that's OK. THE KIDS LOVED IT!

The moment of me truly being fed today was when I saw one little boy that is usually very uninterested in what's going on, actually raise his hand and submit a thought, a great though and then smiled so big at me when I gratified his submission. :) I LIVE FOR THOSE MOMENTS when a child is truly happy with themselves, the moment that they believe in themselves, just as much as I beleive in them. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

You know, some have told me, "Michelle teaching will take a lot out of you" and I'll have to say that it does, but I have to be completely honest and say as well, that I still beleive that if your heart is truly there, and that connection is made with those students, it puts just as much back into you, as it takes out!!!!!!!!!

At least this is my experience. :)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

What was it about today?

I sang at a funeral this morning. HARD STUFF. It was not the plan, but when I got to my house this morning to ride with my parents to the funeral, my daddy says, "I need you to fill the harmony" What was I supposed to say to that? In all honesty, I believe that he needed me to stand beside him more than he needed me to "fill in with the harmony," but that's ok.

After the funeral he decided that he needed to visit with some of our church members that are in the hospital, I usually steer clear of these visits because one, I don't want to be exposed to the sickness and two, it has just never been my thing.

But, today was different. Today I decided that I would go with him.

We first visited a man that has no idea why he is in the hospital, middle aged, seemed to be in good health this past Wednesday, but began experiencing some after stroke like symptoms and his family took him to the hospital.

You could tell as we walked into the room that the man's spirits were low, he didn't want to be there and he was clearly disgruntled by the entire situation. As my daddy began to talk with him and listen to him, I watched as this man began to cry.......................................and I'm thinking WHOA! Wait a minute. What is going on? he's not dying, he's just sick and going to be fine in a few days.

This man began to voice the fact that if he could not get back to work that he was not sure how long they would hold his job and he didn't know how he was supposed to make things work. (GROWN MAN CRYING)

I felt something begin to grip my heart so tightly as I watched as my daddy wrapped his arms around this man and assured him that everything was going to be OK.

I've often asked myself, what gives him the ability to do this? to be so sure? To know that God will work it all out? and then I begin to think back on all of the times in my life when he told me the same thing, and how it was true, every time.

As I've grown older and I've begun to face things on my own, I can hear him whisper to me, "everything is going to be ok" and I know that it's true because I find myself saying the same thing to others.

I have grown up watching my father minister and I've never known, or understood, exactly how or why he does it.........but today, I figured it out. He does it, because he loves it and because he was created to do it. NO OTHER REASON. It's selfless and it's beautiful!

I pray everyday that I can be the truest person that my parents are to me. I pray that I can love as much as they love and help as much as they help. I especially pray that within my own, personal ministry that God would give me that same assurance that my daddy has to be able to say, with full faith, that "everything is going to be ok."