There Is Never A Loss In Love

The more I grow the easier it is becoming for me to see that things fit. Life happens the way that it does for a particular reason. To teach us,to fill us, to challenge us, and to change us. Physical Seasons don't leave the environment unchanged, and neither do the seasons of life and love leave the individual unchanged. Each relationship means something. Whether it be there for a moment, or for a lifetime, there is a purpose. Even if it's a relationship that comes and goes (flows in and then back out of our lives) it's purposeful. There is a reason, and I think the hardest thing for a mind to manage is allowing those relationships to flow freely into and out of our lives. We resist when we should give in and hold on when we should let go. There is nothing wrong with knowing the value of those relationships and knowing that the love that exists between two hearts will never dissipate. It'll never go away, and ignoring it won't help either. I believe that when we give a piece of our heart to someone, we don't truly give it expecting to get it back, and if do, then it's not true.

I want to be the kind of person that can allow those relationships, in all forms, to flow as freely as they are meant to in and out of my life. And I want to be able to understand that the love that is shared is never lost, and that the individual that I am only gains from it all. I don't go for the whole "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all" because when you truly love, there's never a loss. There is only gain. People may move away, or you "break~up," or die, or a host of other things may occur, but when you've opened your heart wide and loved someone, there is NEVER a loss.

I Live to Live

I've been overwhelmed the last few days with the realization of what the last two years have been for me. I have met some amazing people that will never leave my heart. I have discovered the spark that resides within me and taken hold of all of the elements necessary to allow the flame to come full circle. Most importantly, I have figured out where I fit in this world and I'm not afraid of it.


My heart is so full, and I can't help but let it spill out.



My prayer is that I can always see my life through these eyes, and that no matter what circumstance I am faced with I will always have a deep knowledge of who I am and where I'm going; that I never get lost in the living, but that I live to live. :)

"Ms.Kitchens, I need you"

This past week was a really HARD week for me, teaching. It has a lot to do with this test prep stuff, but then some to do with the fact that I'm a full grown teacher and I'm ready to do it on my own. I don't know it all, but my wings need to fly.

By Friday, I was spent. I was DONE. My mind had checked out before I even got to school that day. And it stayed checked out until I heard the words that I hear quite frequently, "Ms. Kitchens, I need you." Do they always need me when they say this? No. More than half of the time they don't need me at all, but there is just something about those words and knowing that in some ways, they do need me just as much as I need them. That makes even the hardest days enjoyable, worth while, and purposeful.

:)

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I can remember being in the eleventh grade and my English teacher reading me this quote for the first time. I remember how intrigued by the discovery or realization that the past as well as the future were no match for what was existing within me at that very moment. I heard someone say something tonight that made me stop and think just as hard as this quote made me think 6 years ago. She said, "If you believe in what you're speaking and standing for, so will others. Your sheer conviction will play the biggest roll in you convincing them that you know what you’re talking about, no matter how young you are"

I think this is profound. I think it's real. And I think I love it. :)

When Feeling Successful and Being Successful Meet

The week of March 1st was an amazing week for me. I taught all week long, which was not much different from the previous week, but something inside of me was definitely more aligned. I taught with all of my heart. I poured myself into what I was teaching and I allowed my students to DO in order to gain understanding~exactly what learning is meant to be. I focused on bringing out the authors in them in order to teach them "Author's purpose" They made commercials. They did research. They asked questions. They explored. They learned, and they proved that yesterday when they were tested. They did amazing! When the day was over and I thought about what had happened in that classroom all week long, I was extremely proud of my students and myself.

The greatest feeling of "I was created to do this" has emerged over the last few months and I can't imagine my life any different than the way that it is. I am so in love with what I do on a daily basis. I'm in love with the aspect of figuring it out, in love with the challenges, in love with the reciprocal relationship.

My flame is burning brightly for my students in hopes that they will be fully ignited, and seeing that ignition take place refuels me. Watching them learn and their eyes light up when they realize that they can do it, that they understand it, that's all the fuel I need. It's that simple.

My students are truly my fuel to do what I do, and the beauty of that relationship is one of the most powerful things that I have ever known.

Reaffirming Days

Some days are just so amazing that it's hard to feel anything but pure delight.

As I was leaving school today, turning off the lights, locking the door I reflected on what had occurred in that room throughout the day. I thought about the connections that had been made, the creativity that I had seen flourish, the love that had been shown, and all of the wonderful things that had happened. Of course there had been what I like to call "momentary mayhem," but for the most part, we all learned today, we were engaged and we were excited.

Today I have the greatest feeling of belonging. I belong to a profession. I belong to a love. I belong in a classroom.

I'm a teacher. I'm an advocate, and I know how to do whatever it takes to get my students what they need. I know how my growth and commitment to being a life long learner directly impacts how I teach them and how well I teach them.

I love being a teacher, and I thank God everyday that I get to wake up and belong.

I've spent many days in prayer, very particular prayer, for my future Job situation. I've prayed for God to release me from Milledgeville and to allow me to enlarge my territory and move into another area. I've shifted my mind back and forth in many different directions, because my soul goal is to be used by him, and with that soul goal in mind I've asked myself if this area is the area that I am meant to reach. I've begged God to let me go, to let me leave, but he won't. I'll admit that for a few days it has upset me, because the odds are not that great if I only apply in a small area, but God won't let me go. My children's ministry and all of the other ministries that I'm involved in right here, are not done yet, they're not at a transition point either. I don't know that this will always be it, but I do know that for now I am exactly where God wants me and that he is going to provide accordingly.

As I listened to a friend tell a story of a child that she knew that had been taken from her mother because she had been using her to traffic drugs, God confirmed in my soul that for this moment my mission field is right here. Right here.......right outside of my door. Within my reach there are people that need someone to be there for them. There are children that need a teacher that loves them and that will tell them everyday how capable they are of achieving their goals, even when everything else around them is telling them that they are noting more than mediocre. There are mothers with husbands that abuse them and their children that need a friend to lean on, someone to tell them that they are worth more. There are broken, thirsty people right outside of my door.

This small town settles for mediocrity. We've settled for just getting by, and I want to change that. I want to inspire children, and any one else in my life, to reach high, to dig deep and to not settle. I want them to always,constantly push for more and to never be happy with someone else' answer, but to seek out their own, because that is where true discovery occurs.

I know in my soul that I am being used here and I am so excited about the things that are to come.


"Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee."
(Fran­ces R. Ha­ver­gal,)


I have a flame. I know what fuels it. And I'm ready to use it.