As a women, when it comes to falling in love, I walk a tightrope. It's so easy to lose balance. It's easy to let the glitter distract me. It's easy to compromise my very being, everything I know of "right", in order just to have SOMETHING. The last few months of my life have taught me that SOMETHING, can be dangerous. Something can take you into places that you were never willing to go in the first place. Something is empty, and it hurts. Allowing a man to treat me any other way that well, is just not acceptable. Allowing myself to be in a position where I feel that I'm no longer making choices, but just enduring, that's not ok either. Feeling like it's not something that I can share with the people around me, well, that's a sure sign that SOMETHING, is not where I wish to live.
I've stood at the edge of a cliff. I've looked down, surveyed the jagged rocks and visualized what that was going to feel like. I can tell you now......I'd rather continue to believe in something that may, or may not exist for the rest of my life before jumping off that cliff.
It hurts like hell, but it makes so much sense. Life is crazy like that.
I thank God that I had the energy to get out of the bed this morning, and in time I know that I will gain understanding of the situation.
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