Reflection. Who knew?

A couple of years ago I met some new people. I remember walking into a room and not knowing a single name or face that I was in the room with. The teacher came in, greeted us, told us a little bit about herself, and we moved into some activities that she had planed for us. The very first one was everyone cutting a piece of yarn of any length and then we ended up having to wrap that yarn around our finger while telling about ourselves until we ran out of yarn. Another activity that we did allowed us to find commonalties within the people in the room. We formed different groups based on those commonalities, and that was when the ice began to break between myself and my peers. From that point forward friendships began to blossom. While it was a slow start for us all really becoming personal with each other, and we had to have a few nudges to make some connections, we did eventually connect. We began to become a family. We cared about each other. We shared, laughed, cried, and became one of the most amazing support systems for each other that I have ever been a part of. When it all came down to it, we were there for each other.

When I look at that experience from this end of it, I feel so blessed to have been a part of that family and to know that just because we're all in our different places doing our different things doesn't mean that we are not still a family. We are. And I know that we will never be strangers again.

Who do I give credit to?
First of all I credit the orchestrator of all, and that is God my creator, for bringing these people together at the perfect moment in time.
Second of all, I give credit to a woman that knew what we needed when we needed it. She started off as someone that I really feared and didn't quite know what to do with and ended that program of study being someone that I know I can call on for the rest of my life and she may not know the answer, but will most certainly know the question to ask to help me get to my answer.

As I move into my first day of school with my very own set of students I know that they will be coming together feeling much like I did on that very first day, and I pray that I can give them exactly what they need when they need it. I hope that they form lasting friendships and make meaningful connections in all areas of their four year old lives. I hope more than anything that when they leave me that they know that I love them and expect phenomenal things from them in the future. I pray that no matter where they end up that they can feel in their soul, Ms. Michelle cared about me and she wants me to succeed, because I can honestly say that   impression left upon me by a few very special teachers in my life, along with the knowledge that my family feels that same way, has been a light on some pretty dark days.

God grant me the strength to be the teacher that all 20 of these children need.
May I ask good questions.
May I be quiet when needed.
May I hold them when they need to be held and pick them up and send them on their way when it is for the best.
May I have the strength to love them as hard as I can all the while knowing that they only have a short time with me before they'll move forward.
May I be a true reflection of God's love that follows them all of their days.

"Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control"

(Somewhere between my heart and my hands

Somewhere between my faith and my plans

Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar

Somewhere between the altar and the door

Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more

Somewhere in the middle You'll find me)

I don't want to be in the middle. Spiritually I can't afford to be in the middle. 

The peace of this love has followed me all of the days of my life and while I've sometimes tried to forget that, or put it on the back burner, it's most important. 

For me it's not a religion and it's far more than just a belief system. For me it's a relationship with the deity that formed me with His hands and breathed life into my body. It's about feeling him in everything that's around me, and being caught in the middle is not where I want to be. Being caught in the middle holds me back. 

I have deep water faith, but I've been sitting in the shallow end. I have gifts that I'm not using, Things that I'm withholding. It boils down to fear. It always does for me, but I'm tired of allowing this fear of rejection to hold me back from what I'm capable of.  

Which brings me to these beautiful lyrics written by an Atlanta native, Mark Hall. 

"Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control"

Our minds are the brunt of the battle

Some days are just hard. It's part of life, but the way I see it, one has two choices on those days, they can choose to feel sorry for themselves, or they can look at how blessed they are.

I am blessed with.......................

• A beautiful support system of family and friends
• Many children that look at me like I am Superwoman
•  A Job (One that I love most days) 
• A sense of who I am and where I'm going. 
• A savior that shows me unconditional love everyday that I live

I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.  ~Ancient Persian Saying


It is very easy to look at what's NOT there, or what's falling apart. The challenge in life is to look at what IS there and to hold onto it for dear life; to know that you're being held, and that there is a love that will never let you go.

Our minds are the brunt of the battle.

What to do when the piece doesn't fit

Sometimes the pieces just don't fit and forcing them only causes problems. It's just like those cardboard puzzles.oh yeah, you can force the piece, but it's going to mess the piece up, not to mention what it's going to do to the picture as a whole. If it doesn't fit, it doesn't fit. If it's not right, it's just not right, and forcing it will only cause the picture to be off. 

It's metaphorical. I'm well aware, and I'm certain that I'm not the first to think of it. 

But,

For the past few months there has been a piece that doesn't fit. I've turned it every way possible and examined it from every angle that there is, but it was not meant to fit. Granted, I think there is a reason that it's a part of my puzzle, but it just doesn't fit in the spot that I was trying to place it in. 

I've put the piece where it goes and I don't intend to remove it (God help me) 

Now I can begin to focus on the next piece for a while. 

Life= A Puzzle, and when the piece doesn't fit, it doesn't fit. 

Promised Moments

Truth is, there's no such thing. We're not even promised the next breath. We have no control over it. Today is what there is. This very breath is what there is and if you look at life through the eyes of "what there is" you will soon know that everything is precious. 

While there has to be some thought process about what tomorrow brings, and we in some cases have to make certain preparations, being ok with the moment that we're living in is one of the biggest favors that we could ever do for ourselves; excepting what's in our life for exactly what it is.  Just think of all the worrying that we would prevent.

 There is an art to allowing life to flow. Some never figure it out, and I can't say that I have 100% of it down, but I can tell you that I appreciate right now. I appreciate who I am. I love the people within my life and I acknowledge the fact that I don't have it all figured out. I'm ok with it. I'm not perfect. I'm not even close, but I'm not afraid to think for right now and not be so wrapped up in tomorrow that I can't live for today.