The realm of the answer

I'm reading a book that really has me thinking, A Return To Love, by Marianne Williamson.

"Next time you're down on your knees, why don't you just stay there? Why don't we stay in the realm of the answer rather than returning to the realm of the problem?"

This struck a nerve.

Surrendering my unbelief is hard sometimes. Allowing those parts of myself that think they know a better way of doing it, to take over, is a hard thing to suppress. Realizing that the answer is inside of me, and not outside.......that's a hard one too. '

And when I return to the realm of the answer, I find the purest love I've ever known.

Beautiful

When I step back and I look at how all the pieces fit, I can't help but think that this painting will turn out something like Vincent van Gogh's "Starry Night."

Beautiful. That's what my painter is. He is beauty. He possesses some of the very qualities that he placed inside of me, and all of his children.

Just as an artist paints and places some of their beauty onto the canvas, and just as a musician hammers out melody, placing some of their beauty into the world, my creator is making me to reflect some of his beauty.

The closer I come to accepting this, the easier it is to love, to breathe, to take in everything around me, and to know that it is with divine purpose that I am who I am.

My entire course of life events has shaped this person, this painting, and the greatest thing is knowing who holds the paint brush. The one that makes no mistakes. The one who mixes all of the colors perfectly and knows exactly what he's doing. He knows where to draw all of the lines. He knows where everything belongs.

While sometimes I feel like he must have dropped the paintbrush, it's in those moments that he is looking at his work. It's in those moments that he's deciding what the next phase will be. And those moments are moments of beauty, too.

It's a tedious process and I'm glad that he's willing to stick with it.
I'm glad that even when I get sidetracked and the paint begins to run, that he knows exactly how to turn my mess into what was supposed to be there anyway.

Family, friends, events, places, good times, bad times, and in between times are all a part of the artwork. They're focal points. They're meant to be there.

I'm only 21 years old and I don't have a lot of insight into what the rest of my life will be like, but I do know that If I allow my maker, this painting is going to be something of exceptional beauty, reflecting everything that he has put into it.

I was reminded of this today, heavily reminded.

I can only imagine what heaven's art gallery looks like :)

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

Babies

A friend and I began a conversation today about having children, and once again I felt my heart almost explode when I started talking about these possibilities that are in my future.
I don't know what it has been about my 20's, but it seems like I think about it a lot more and want it a lot more. I think about carrying a child and what that is going to be like. I think about the kind of love that I will feel when it happens and I don't suspect that it's anything close to what I've ever felt before.

There is something about the way a baby looks up at its mother that makes everything inside of me know that I want that.
I can't imagine what it will be like to look into the eyes of someone that needs me that much.

These thoughts may be a little premature. I still have a piece to go before I get to that point in my life, but I honestly can't wait. (I can wait, I'm just excited)

All I can do right now is hope for a niece or nephew in the near future. :)

Experience

Many things have happened around me today, but the thing I want to talk about is...............................
I read A Chair For My Mother by Vera B. Williams today and several of my students really seemed to connect with this text. A few of them shared their own personal stories of their homes catching on fire. One student in particular really touched me with how she related herself to the text by sharing with the class that she knew what it was like to lose all of her furniture, and clothes, and proceeded into telling of how her dog was in the house and the fireman couldn't save him.

My response to this was one of which I had to spit out rapid fire and didn't really consider very deeply. I said " So you can identify with the way the little girl in the story feels, because you have had a very similar experience and how does that make you feel for her?" and the student responded with sad.

Another student raised their hand and said "So my house has never caught on fire, so I can't know what she feels like, right?" and this led into a beautiful discussion about caring and being compassionate and sympathetic. The kids came up with the "care" and the "be sad for" on their own and then we talked about other words that meant the same thing. They began to put together the fact that you don't have to have the identical experience, to show sympathy and show compassion for someone who has.

They taught each other more about life in that 20 minutes than I ever could have. When I chose that book, last minute this morning, to help guide instruction I never imagined that they would do what they did with it. I am so glad that they did, because I feel like they were teaching me, instead of me teaching them.

A Day in My PJ's

I have not left my pajamas today, the rain made it that much more irresistible. These days are few and far between and that's OK because vegging is not very self satisfying, at least if I did it everyday it wouldn't be. But today was nice. I watched the rain. I made significant progress in planning my unit and, the nap that I squeezed in was not bad either. I cooked dinner (oooo-Ahhhhh)
and my roommate and I watched my "Live on the Inside" DVD (Sugarland), that came with the CD that I have not had the opportunity to watch until today. I had the concert experience right here in my living room. I loved it. I'll watch it again, that's how good it was. :)

Nothing too special about the day, but I did some well deserved relaxing and took some time to do a few things that I wanted to do and a few things that I needed to do.

Did some singing too, of course!

Tomorrow brings a little more productivity and hopefully the sun will shine.


Therefore I will give thanks to You, O LORD, among the nations, and I will sing praises to Your name ... 2 Sam 22:50.

THE END

Questions and Answers

So,
Someone asked me the question today: What would you be if you weren't a teacher? and I honestly had no answer to that question.

There have been times in the last few years that I might have had an answer for that question, but I don't anymore, and for whatever reason, I'm OK with that.

I am becoming more and more comfortable with the power that I posses as an educator and I love the feeling of knowing that I am going to be doing something that I love for the rest of my life.

Today,I met some other people that are passionate about what they are doing everyday, and it seemed like God put them in my path to prove to me that the passion that I feel, will still exist even when I am in the, "real world"

Can I see flaws in our education system? of course I can see flaws, but I can also see opportunity. I can see my chance to make a difference and I know that I can impact the lives that come through my classroom door.

I heard someone say today
She said, we often ask ourselves and wonder, will all of what I do for these children be in vain when they move out of my classroom and into the more, sit in your desk, copy from the board, let's read our books one, down the hallway. She said the answer is no. When you give children opportunities and experiences, they draw from it for the rest of their lives and they'll always remember. PROFOUND!
:)(made my day)

This is why I continue on even though I can see the flaws, and, this is why I no longer have an answer to the question "What would you be if you weren't a teacher"
I HAVE NO BACK UP PLAN.

I am a teacher
I have a powerful role in this world.
My soul can reach into the lives of children, everyday.
My hands can hold their hands. My voice can reach their hearts.
My smile can let them know that they are where it starts.
They posses the ability to become whatever they want to be.....No limits...No boundaries.....just opportunity. And as long as they hold onto that experience for the rest of their lives, my job is done, and I am in turn, fulfilled.

So, yeah, I am a teacher.