When I think about my daddy

When I think about my daddy...........
I think about being 6 years old and him standing beside me harmonizing with me singing "Oh How I Love Jesus."
I think about him leaving the training wheels on my bicycle because I insisted, even though he says that they were broken and so they were not even really touching the ground anymore.
I think about the time that I was about 9 or 10 and I stepped on some glass because I never wore shoes and he got it out with me screaming like I was dying.
I think about the tears that I saw in his eyes after my first marching band performance.
I think about the way he looked at me just a few months ago and told me how very proud of me he is.
I think about leading praise and worship twice a week with him. (Music is our special language)
BUT MOST OF ALL
I think about the love that he has sown into me over the years and I am overwhelmed with the greatest sense of just how absolutely blessed I am to have him in my life.

On My Own

I've lived on my own for the past year, but I've had a roommate for most of that time. What have I discovered? I've discovered that I like my family so much more now that I don't live under the same roof with them. I've discovered that my parents have always been my friends. I recently learned through something that my little brother wrote that I am the person that he most aspires to be like. Who knew? I thought we passionately disagreed on everything in the world. It caused a shift in our relationship, for sure. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that when you're not living under the same roof with these people, they become so much, well, cooler. :) I've left out my older brother, we're still best friends.

I guess more than anything what moving out of my house has taught me is how incredibly blessed I truly am. I feel that blessing way more now because there is no "I need to stretch my legs" tension like there was before.

In a few short weeks I'll be moving into a house. Just me. And I'm very excited. I'm excited because it was my financial decision, and because in just a few short months I will know just how capable I am of making things work for myself. Stability is important to me. Financial stability along with many other stabilities. Knowing that I can have that stability on my own, that's key.

SO, Yes. I graduated from college, but I'm not getting married and starting a family, I'm on my own. And I'm just enough for right now. Yes I want to be married and have children someday, but that's not in my cards right now, and I'll wait. While I wait, I'll grow, I'll learn and most of all I'll have fun. I'll live life. I'll pay attention to the people in it. I'll listen and share. I'll dream, read, write, teach, speak, and love hard.


That's pretty exciting if you ask me!

There Is Never A Loss In Love

The more I grow the easier it is becoming for me to see that things fit. Life happens the way that it does for a particular reason. To teach us,to fill us, to challenge us, and to change us. Physical Seasons don't leave the environment unchanged, and neither do the seasons of life and love leave the individual unchanged. Each relationship means something. Whether it be there for a moment, or for a lifetime, there is a purpose. Even if it's a relationship that comes and goes (flows in and then back out of our lives) it's purposeful. There is a reason, and I think the hardest thing for a mind to manage is allowing those relationships to flow freely into and out of our lives. We resist when we should give in and hold on when we should let go. There is nothing wrong with knowing the value of those relationships and knowing that the love that exists between two hearts will never dissipate. It'll never go away, and ignoring it won't help either. I believe that when we give a piece of our heart to someone, we don't truly give it expecting to get it back, and if do, then it's not true.

I want to be the kind of person that can allow those relationships, in all forms, to flow as freely as they are meant to in and out of my life. And I want to be able to understand that the love that is shared is never lost, and that the individual that I am only gains from it all. I don't go for the whole "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all" because when you truly love, there's never a loss. There is only gain. People may move away, or you "break~up," or die, or a host of other things may occur, but when you've opened your heart wide and loved someone, there is NEVER a loss.

I Live to Live

I've been overwhelmed the last few days with the realization of what the last two years have been for me. I have met some amazing people that will never leave my heart. I have discovered the spark that resides within me and taken hold of all of the elements necessary to allow the flame to come full circle. Most importantly, I have figured out where I fit in this world and I'm not afraid of it.


My heart is so full, and I can't help but let it spill out.



My prayer is that I can always see my life through these eyes, and that no matter what circumstance I am faced with I will always have a deep knowledge of who I am and where I'm going; that I never get lost in the living, but that I live to live. :)

"Ms.Kitchens, I need you"

This past week was a really HARD week for me, teaching. It has a lot to do with this test prep stuff, but then some to do with the fact that I'm a full grown teacher and I'm ready to do it on my own. I don't know it all, but my wings need to fly.

By Friday, I was spent. I was DONE. My mind had checked out before I even got to school that day. And it stayed checked out until I heard the words that I hear quite frequently, "Ms. Kitchens, I need you." Do they always need me when they say this? No. More than half of the time they don't need me at all, but there is just something about those words and knowing that in some ways, they do need me just as much as I need them. That makes even the hardest days enjoyable, worth while, and purposeful.

:)

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I can remember being in the eleventh grade and my English teacher reading me this quote for the first time. I remember how intrigued by the discovery or realization that the past as well as the future were no match for what was existing within me at that very moment. I heard someone say something tonight that made me stop and think just as hard as this quote made me think 6 years ago. She said, "If you believe in what you're speaking and standing for, so will others. Your sheer conviction will play the biggest roll in you convincing them that you know what you’re talking about, no matter how young you are"

I think this is profound. I think it's real. And I think I love it. :)

When Feeling Successful and Being Successful Meet

The week of March 1st was an amazing week for me. I taught all week long, which was not much different from the previous week, but something inside of me was definitely more aligned. I taught with all of my heart. I poured myself into what I was teaching and I allowed my students to DO in order to gain understanding~exactly what learning is meant to be. I focused on bringing out the authors in them in order to teach them "Author's purpose" They made commercials. They did research. They asked questions. They explored. They learned, and they proved that yesterday when they were tested. They did amazing! When the day was over and I thought about what had happened in that classroom all week long, I was extremely proud of my students and myself.

The greatest feeling of "I was created to do this" has emerged over the last few months and I can't imagine my life any different than the way that it is. I am so in love with what I do on a daily basis. I'm in love with the aspect of figuring it out, in love with the challenges, in love with the reciprocal relationship.

My flame is burning brightly for my students in hopes that they will be fully ignited, and seeing that ignition take place refuels me. Watching them learn and their eyes light up when they realize that they can do it, that they understand it, that's all the fuel I need. It's that simple.

My students are truly my fuel to do what I do, and the beauty of that relationship is one of the most powerful things that I have ever known.